Waving my white flag...

Last week I had to surrender. I broke down and had to admit that I couldn't do it all. Mom. Student. Employee. Too much stress. Too much guilt about not giving my son enough of my time.

And so I dropped the class I was taking this semester. I felt like I was one of the teen moms on 16 and Pregnant, unable to balance work, school and family. Part of me felt like a failure, because I couldn't do it all. But actually, I didn't want to do it all.

What I want to do is soak up every moment I can with my little boy. What I want to do is to be able to continue to breastfeed him. And I was worried that if I went to school this semester, I wouldn't be able to give Owen those things.

I can manage being away from him while I'm at work as I know it's necessary so we can pay bills and save money for a new house that we hope to buy one day. But last week, school didn't seem like it was necessary. And it was the one thing I could let go of for the time being.

I am still committed to finishing my masters degree. And in a couple of months, I will go back. But I'm still transitioning into working full-time. And Owen still wakes up to eat around 3:00 a.m. every morning. And I'm still breastfeeding. And that in itself is a job. So in a few months, while it will still be hard to go to school, I will do it.

But tonight, I'm going to go home and hang out with my boys.

J.B.

Testing my [non-existent] math skills

Today I'm doing what I'm sure you're dreaming of doing on a Saturday afternoon.

I'm taking a math test.

A THREE hour math test.

I'm in a master's program for a Masters of Business COMMUNICATION -- well, I was accepted into a provisional status. My math score on the GMAT was a little low. So they gave me a couple of different options and I procrastinated, of course. Currently, I can't take any more classes until I fulfill their math requirement. 

The cheapest and least time-consuming option is PASSING their math placement exam. 

Being the thrifty person I am, that's the route I choose to do. In a matter of 20 days, I've relearned 12 years worth of math.

I think I did it. Knock on wood!

If I don't pass the test today (which doesn't have any multiple choice problems...you have to be able to solve the problems), I will have to either retake the GMAT or take a math class. And I won't be able to take any more classes until I do one of those....and their math class isn't available until fall. 

 

The stakes are high, but the reward will be good. 

 

IF you call being able to take more classes a good reward.

J.B.

A little game called....Cool; Not Cool

Cool: Being done with the semester, which means not having class tonight and going home right after work.

Not cool: Being assigned a "reflection paper" on the last night of class and having to write it tonight because it's due tomorrow.


J.B.

Just about done!

Tonight is my last class for the semester! Just one presentation to give and I will be on winter break and I'm officicially passed the half-way mark to getting a Masters degree!

It was a hectic semester -- the first one I've taken two classes at once. I thought other people in my program were crazy for doing two at once, but it would definitely help speed up the time for completing the degree. The first half, I was all about balancing life, work and school, but now it seems like I've been a graduate student forever and I'm getting antsy to just complete it all. I guess we'll see what I do next spring -- but I'm pretty sure I'm going to force myself to finish the financial accounting requirement and I think that one class will be enough for me!
J.B.

Snow!

We got sacked with snow today. In a matters of hours we received 4-6 inches of snow.

Sometimes snow can be a good thing. Example: You get told the office is closing and you get to leave 1 1/2 hours early. School is canceled and you don't have to worry about finding the extra half-hour in your day to finish the reading. You get to let the dogs off their leashes and let them run free.

Not sure what it is about snow. But it makes my dogs so excited. They literally run around in circles. The faces get covered in snowflakes. It's so fun to watch them have so much fun. But not for too long, because, hey, it gets cold quick!

Today, Cooper's girlfriend, Lily, came outside and the two get to play a little game of tag.



Here's some photos I took of the boys. They haven't changed much since I last posted pics. They're dogs. They're not supposed to change. But something did happen to Otis' lip. It almost looks like he got my cold sore. Can dogs get cold sores?

Mua! Catching Cooper kissing his girlfriend.

He's so pretty!

A close-up of Cooper.

Otis looks like he doesn't want his picture taken. I know he's saying, "Mom, don't take a photo of me with a cold sore. It's so embarrassing."

He's a Maverick!

Today is Dave's first official day of class at Minnesota State University. And that makes him a Maverick. A Maverick! Ya Betchya!

lol. And I think that may be my new nickname for him.

He's actually been accepted there for sometime now, but since the school is an hour from our house he's been going to a community college closer to home. But he's closing in on finishing the degree, so he's at a point where he has to be on campus for the rest of the time he's in the program.

I am so proud of Dave for continuing his education. I know it wasn't easy for him to become a student after getting out of the army. And I know it isn't easy that he has to work full-time and take classes full-time simultaneously. During each semester, he goes months without having a single day off. And it's never easy to transfer schools.

He works hard, and he'll finish school soon enough (and I'm looking forward to a big graduation party!). Although I'm sure there are many days when he'd rather take the 'easy' way out. To just work full-time and not have to worry about homework, tests, commuting, buying books and a special school computer (stupid school requirements). But we have a couple of goals in our life. The biggest goal we have is to be parents (to human kids in addtion to Otis, Cooper and Gracie). As part of being parents, we want to be able to provide a financially stable environment for our children. And by working hard and Dave working on completing his degree, we'll hopefully be able to provide that (although I guess it's never guaranteed!). And we want to be good role models too. It's challenging at the moment -- but long-term, we know our family will be better off. The hard work and perseverance will pay off.

As Dave drives to school today, I hope he knows how grateful I am to have a husband that works so hard for his family. I know I never say it enough! I am so thankful for his priorities and his work ethic and the love that he has for us.

And it's snowing lots today -- so pray that he has safe travels!!!

Hurray!!

Economics is done! My last class was yesterday. And we did great on our last project. My professor's feedback: "To summarize, it was basically perfect." That really took us by surprise, and hopefully that means we'll get a decent grade (you never really know with this professor).

I feel a great sense of freedom. I can get back to doing the important things in life...blogging, cleaning my house, cooking dinner, running, taking the dogs to the park, hanging out with Dave, watching Thursday night TV, seeing friends and family, finding a new job, reading books, scrapbooking, learning how to golf and everything else on my 101 in 1,001 list.

Now I have to figure out how to get that hold off my school account, so I can register for next semester. I'm going to have to pass the math placement test or take a math class....grrrr.