Monday, February 7, 2011

Waving my white flag...

Last week I had to surrender. I broke down and had to admit that I couldn't do it all. Mom. Student. Employee. Too much stress. Too much guilt about not giving my son enough of my time.

And so I dropped the class I was taking this semester. I felt like I was one of the teen moms on 16 and Pregnant, unable to balance work, school and family. Part of me felt like a failure, because I couldn't do it all. But actually, I didn't want to do it all.

What I want to do is soak up every moment I can with my little boy. What I want to do is to be able to continue to breastfeed him. And I was worried that if I went to school this semester, I wouldn't be able to give Owen those things.

I can manage being away from him while I'm at work as I know it's necessary so we can pay bills and save money for a new house that we hope to buy one day. But last week, school didn't seem like it was necessary. And it was the one thing I could let go of for the time being.

I am still committed to finishing my masters degree. And in a couple of months, I will go back. But I'm still transitioning into working full-time. And Owen still wakes up to eat around 3:00 a.m. every morning. And I'm still breastfeeding. And that in itself is a job. So in a few months, while it will still be hard to go to school, I will do it.

But tonight, I'm going to go home and hang out with my boys.



  1. You can always go back to school. You can never get this time back with Owen. I'm so happy you are following your heart. You will not regret it!!!

  2. Good for you Jenny! Owen is happy about your decision too, I'm sure :)

  3. Time is fleeting enough with little ones's important to spend each possible moment with him! :) I think it's a very good decision indeed, and you can definitely go back to school as soon as you are both ready!

  4. School will be there when ever you choose it's the right time to go back, but like Michelle said, time with your baby, with your family and sanity... that is priceless!

  5. I've put off finishing up my teaching certification classes (only 1 left, but still) because I don't want to do it while the baby is so little. My advisor even told me "They are only little once and you have a long time to take classes" Such good advice!


What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear.