Monday, November 29, 2010

4 weeks

It's already been four weeks since the little man has arrived. Each and every minute of the last four weeks has been cherished.

In those four weeks, much has changed.

Now I live my life in 3 hour increments. And man, time goes much faster when you live life this way.

Now my little man depends on me for his nourishment. For his sense of security. For his survival. No one has ever depended on me like this before.

I've experienced the hopelessness you feel when your baby is in pain and there isn't anything that can be done except to rock him and hold him closer (and give him gas drops and tummy rubs).

I've experienced love like I've never felt before. There are not enough hugs and kisses in this world that could express to my baby how much I love him.

I've experienced so much joy. The joy of watching my husband sing to the little guy. The joy of watching friends and family love on my boy. It's so incredible that there is so much love for something Dave and I created. Never have I done anything in my life before that brings out so much love and joy from people. I love sharing him with others.

But I love mommy and son time so much too.


I've experienced how frustrating it can be when you're so tired, you just break down in tears, because you're little one won't go to sleep. But then, two seconds later, I've experienced the sense of accomplishment of rocking that cute little bundle sleeping your arms.

My world has become more beautiful. My son is beautiful. Watching my husband and my son together is beautiful. Watching my son and my nieces is beautiful. Watching my son meet his grandparents and aunts and uncles is amazing.

My baby and I are learning so much about each other. I'm learning his schedule. His cries. His grunts. I've learned that when he poops, he's going to be hungry in 5 minutes. And if he's hungry and hasn't pooped yet, he will almost immediately after he starts eating. He's learned how to eat. He's learning how to hold his head up and he's strengthening his neck. He's growing so much. My skinny little boy is filling out and getting heavier.

And when people tell you that when you're a mom, you'll talk about poop; they're not kidding. The color of poop. The amount of poop. The sound of pooping. The sound of a 2nd round of poop. Being pooped on. Poop is good.

These last four weeks have been the most rewarding four weeks thus far in my life. If I there is one word to some it up, it is LOVE. I'm surrounded by love. I'm experiencing love more deeply and more authentic. I'm love my boy. I love my family. I love that we are finally parents. I love my many blessings from God. I'm in love.

J.B.

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