Monday, August 23, 2010


Isn't it funny how sometimes an anniversary or birthday or other important day arrives and you remember it, but sometimes a day just as important comes and goes and you just totally blank.

This August I've had a lot of those important dates coming and going without even noticing the significance of that day.

I forgot Cooper Joe's 3rd b-day. I forgot my friend Michelle's b-day. I forgot my 2-year anniversary at work. (Thankfully, I remembered Stevie's b-day and Diana's b-day!)

But there is another day that I did not forget.

Today. August 23.

Dave got up early and went fishing with his friend, Sean. I got up several hours later and decided to take a pregnancy test. I had taken one a couple of days before that had been negative, but I guess intuition told me to try again. And so did the fact that a monthly visitor hadn't arrived yet.

The test was positive. I was pregnant. After close to a year of trying.

Unable to wait until Dave came home, I called him. He told me to take another one. You know, just to be sure.

I did.

I remember feeling like I was on a cloud that day. I didn't know what to do with myself. Life was so beautiful. I was going to be a mommy. My life was forever changed by one test.

The truth is. I couldn't forget this day. Not when I still think about Chubs almost every day. Especially lately. There is something about being pregnant again during allergy season that reminds me of my first pregnancy. The pain isn't so raw anymore. In fact, being pregnant again has definitely brought a lot of healing. Although Chubs is still missed.

Even though that pregnancy didn't end the way we wanted it to, that doesn't take away the happiness and excitement Dave and I felt on this day one year ago. We were so excited to find out we were going to be parents. And today, one year later, we're ecstatic to be parents. That day is coming so soon. And while Chubs won't be the little boy that's in are arms, Chubs will still be in our hearts.

I love you, Chubs.



What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear.