To my little angel

Dear Chubby,

This was going to be your week. It was the week you were due to be born. A week that I was so looking forward to -- to meeting you and having you in my arms. Both your Dad and I were excited to hear your cry and kiss your sweet head. But that dream of ours didn't come true.

Instead, I've been dreading this week for the last seven months -- ever since I knew we'd never meet in this world.

I was really sad on Wednesday -- your due date. But I made it through. I went through the motions of going to work and school and was drained by the time I got home.

Chubs, I believe you're in a great place, surrounded by great grandparents that love you. You get to play with a dog named Cinnamon and a bird named Aussie. But your Mama still misses you.

I know you're looking down on us. I wonder if you're happy that you're going to have a little brother or sister? Or do you feel like you're missing out? Even though it looks like we're moving on, in our hearts we still miss you and love you so much.

I'm already just like your grandma. Sometimes I accidently call you Boo or sometimes I accidently call Boo your name.
You, my angel, won't ever have to be hungry. But there are hungry kids here in this world. So for your due date present, we decided to help our orphans in Haiti. We bought them lots of meals so that they can get real food in their bellys. So they can feel full and satisfied. If you get a chance, you should visit those orphans and help protect them so that they don't feel so hungry. Hopefully, someday I'll get to go meet them. It won't be this summer, but maybe in a couple of years. I'll wait. Just as I wait to meet you.

I love you, my angel. I will always love you.

Love,
Mama

J.B.