Thursday, October 15, 2009

We are not alone

Did you know today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day? I had no idea such a day existed. But really, before September 25, 2009, I never had any reason to be aware of such a day.

Will you remember my baby with me?

Even though our loss is still so fresh to me, I don't think I could ever forget about our baby. I'll never forget how I told Dave the news. He was actually gone fishing the morning I took the test. I have to share this conversation, because I loved it. I called and casually asked him a few questions...

Me: I was just calling because I was wondering what time you think you'll be home?
Dave: Why?
Me: I have a surprise for you.
Dave: What?
Me: It's just a surprise.
Dave: Tell me.
Me: I took a pregnancy test.
Dave: What'd it say?
Me: Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if it was negative.

I'll never forget what is was like to tell my parents or Dave's parents or our sisters. I'll never forget telling my grandparents or my nieces. My niece, Amanda, asked me why I wasn't fat.

I'll never forget the day we found out and Dave and I went to Kohl's and bought an outfit for our little baby. It was a little sleeper with elephants and giraffes on it.

I'll never forget the emails we looked forward to getting each week that said the size of the baby and explained what was developing that week. It was the size of a kidney bean.

I'll never forget catching myself smiling, lost in a daydream, just being so content that our dream of becoming a real family was coming true.

I really don't need a day to remember my angel baby. I remember every. single. day. But I find comfort in the fact that right now men and women throughout the world are remembering their loss and that right now you are remember my baby with me and I know that we are not alone.


  1. I hate that I didn't read this until Friday...but I still remembered you guys yesterday...and will continue to remember your sweet little baby.

    Love you!!!!!

  2. I didn't see this until just now either. And I too was thinking of you yesterday.... I love you guys and can't wait to see you and angel baby will always be remembered :)

  3. This community of mothers and father who grieve, we remember. And yes, I agree - one day is no different than the others to us. But our friends and family, I think they need that day set aside.

    We, the parents, we never forget.


  4. You write so beautifully about your loss. It is not something that I can possibly understand, but I will join you in remembering.

    And from the experience of the women around me I can say that you are correct in knowing that you will never forget. And that is good, because forgetting your child is not something you need to do.

  5. Thank you for linking me to your blog! I am touched and humbled. I can't imagine what this experience has been like for you.

  6. Thank you for sharing Jenny! I am sure you are remembering everyday right now, and will be quite often in the future as well. It is good to have a rememberance day, so others remember the parents of the little ones!


What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear.