39 weeks!

We've really made it to the home stretch! It's so sureal that within the next couple of days -- or hours -- or weeks yet if he's stubborn, our little guy will be in our arms!



I had my weekly doctor appointment today. We had an appointment just last Friday, so I was happy to hear that things have progressed in the last couple of days. I'm now 2 cm dilated and the baby is lower too. We're having a crazy wind storm, so I'm hoping that it might bring more progress.



Although I'm 39 weeks and some days pregnant, I still managed to go to my yoga class. Yoga has been such great thing for me throughout this pregnancy. The fact that can still get into yoga poses at this stage in the game has been really empowering. And I think it's helped me stay comfortable too. It wasn't until this past Saturday that I first felt my back getting pretty sore.


That's pretty much all I have for now. Being pregnant has been a great adventure, but I'm really looking forward to what comes next!

J.B.

Dropping?

I've had to take some self portraits to document the pregnancy as of late, since Dave is out of town and the pups refuse to take my picture.

Today I've gotten comments from two people that it looks like Boo has started dropping. What do you think? I'm not totally convinced...although I have had to pee more. But I think it's too close to tell....it doesn't help that I'm wearing two different shirts (but both polka dots). Enjoy the fake smile while you're at it.

37 weeks.

38 weeks

J.B.

Won't you light my candle?

We recently honored/observed (not sure what's the right word) the one year anniversary of our miscarriage. I started, but didn't really have the words to write a coherent blog post about it. To make my thoughts more scattered was the fact that right before the anniversary, my old roommate caught me up on what was going on in her life.

At her 19-week ultrasound, she found out their baby didn't develop kidneys. That basically meant that her baby couldn't survive outside the womb. Before the ultrasound, the baby appeared to be growing well and thriving. She could feel her kicks. So finding out her baby was sick was devastating. At that time, the doctors told her that the baby would continue to grow to full-term and then die within hours of being born. But, their baby actually died one year and six days after Chubby.

Her situation is no doubt more complicated than mine was. But it's still a loss of a baby, and a loss of hopes and dreams for that particular child. But not all hopes and dreams of having children have to die.

I pray for my roommate and for others who have experienced such a loss that not all hopes and dreams for the families that they want to have are lost.

As Dave and I talked about Chubs and the anniversary of our miscarriage, the thing that really touched both of us was how much can change in a year. After the miscarriage, it just seemed like our journey to have a family was such a long road -- and we were moving on that road painfully slow. I was hopeful we would have a family someday, but I just didn't imagine it could happen within a year. But it did. And we're so thankful.

And for some twisted reason, being pregnant again and preparing for our little guy has helped the grieving and healing process. That's another thing we talked about. From the loss of Chubby, we were given the gift of Boo. "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."*

Chubby is part of our story. He always will be. Our dream was to be parents, and he made that come true. He taught us about hope and preserverence. He taught us about grieving and healing. He taught Dave and I that we need to rely on each other for support, especially during difficult times.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, so I'm inviting you to take a moment and think about all those who were lost. Today I'm taking this moment to finally publish a post of scattered thoughts of my miscarriage experience. And, tonight I'll be lighting a candle in memory of Chubs.

J.B.

Gracie plays hide and seek

We have a cat. Remember?

I was uploading some video from my phone onto the computer and this one of Gracie hiding completely under the covers makes me smile.

J.B.

Wage your guess

The countdown for the big day is definitely underway. As of today, there are 19 days u till my due date -- we're in the teens! Of course, Boo's birthdate could be earlier or later than his due date....all of which we'll be finding out in a couple of weeks. I had fun reading everyone's guesses when I posted about guessing Boo's gender, and now it's time to get everyone's guesses for Boo's birth.

This time, everyone should leave comments guessing Boo's birthdate, height and weight.

Here's some quick facts that may or may not be helpful in your guess...

• This is my first kid
• At my 36 week appointment, I hadn't really started dialating or effacing
• Today at my 37 week appointment, I was 1 cm dilated, 50% effaced and had a -1 station
• I also haven't really had many contractions or other signs of labor
• I was born one week after my due date
• Dave was born on time, but was induced
• My sister had both of her kids 10 days early
• Dave is out of town until Oct. 21
• My due date is Oct. 31
• My ultrasounds showed due dates ranging from Oct. 29 - Nov. 2
• My measurements have been on track

Leave your guess in the comments!
J.B.

My nursery rhyme shower

Katie posted pics on her blog from the baby shower that she, Diana and Mary threw for Boo and I. Like I said before, their attention to detail was AMAZING. You really have to check out the pics to see what I mean!

Check out the pics!

J.B.

10 days

The first two years I knew Papa Bear, we lived in different states. He spent a year deployed in Iraq.

So him leaving for 10 days should be a piece of cake, right?

I hope so. It's so crazy how your perspective changes. Seven years ago, only being away from Dave would have been a dream. Today, 10 days seems like a long time.

Considering the fact that I'm 37 weeks pregnant, 21 days away from my due date and he won't be home until 10 days before my due date; the circumstances are a little different this time.

But still, after I dropped him off at the airport, I was not the mess that I was when I said goodbye to him as he deployed to Iraq. That day I literally felt like someone close to me had died. Given where we left things, I wasn't sure if I'd ever talk to him again and I hated the thought of possibly losing someone who had become such a dear friend in such a short amount of time. That's not even considering the fact that he was headed into a war.

This time I knew I'd talk to him before he boarded the plane, after he landed in Chicago and at least once more before I go to bed. And I know there will be many more phone calls, text messages, emails and numerous Skype conversations before he's back home. Thanks goodness for technology! He's close enough that he could drive home if Boo decides to show up early -- but I'm really hoping that doesn't happen.

But I still miss him. I think mostly I'll miss being able to grab his hand so he can feel Boo. And the smile that spreads across his entire face when he feels the kicks too. I'll miss him waking me up at 11 p.m. (after he's taken the pups outside), so that I move from the couch and into bed. I'm missing hugs and kisses. I'm missing his runs to DQ to get me some ice cream. I wish they delivered.

I only have to miss him for ten days and then he'll be home. And there is definitely a thing or two to look forward to in the days after he comes home too.

J.B.